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Hillside, IL 60162
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Recent Blog Posts
Will a Marriage Counselor Ever Suggest Divorce?
Many couples choose to go to counseling when their marriage is in trouble. Often, counseling/therapy is a last-ditch effort to save the marriage before considering divorce. What many couples do not know is that most counselors/therapists will never persuade couples one way or another when it comes to the ultimate decision about divorce. Whether the marriage survives or not is ultimately in the hands of the couple itself. The only job of the counselor is to help both parties become more in tune with the needs of the other and build communication skills.
What if the Couple Is Miserable?
Even if a couple is very unhappy in their marriage, a marriage therapist will typically keep their opinion about the relationship to themselves. To actually suggest divorce would raise some ethical and moral concerns, which is why most therapists try not to push the couple either way. Sometimes, one marriage counselor is not enough. The therapist might say, “I have done everything I can for you,” and the couple may then choose to see another therapist, who might be able to offer new techniques which may be key factors in turning the marriage around for the better.
Budget-Friendly Divorce Solutions
Your marriage is coming to an end. You are about to begin a new chapter of your life, and you would prefer to start it without a mountain of divorce costs. Although the thought of a do-it-yourself divorce has crossed your mind, you know that doing so may complicate matters, drag out the process and often can result in additional, future litigation. Furthermore, if your partner has an attorney, and you decide to represent yourself, the judge may never hear “your side of the story,” and you may lose everything. If you know that having legal divorce help is your best option, but you are wary of the cost, try these budget-friendly divorce tips:
File for an Uncontested Divorce
If you and your spouse agree on most of the significant issues, you may benefit from filing for an uncontested divorce. Uncontested does not mean that your divorce will be free from disagreements; rather, it means that you can resolve them outside of court, allowing you to move more quickly through the court process to finalize your divorce. In an uncontested divorce, you should be sure to address the following issues:
Helpful Divorce Tips From Those Who Have Gone Through The Process
Every couple that gets involved in a divorce case has varied expectations as to what the process is going to be like. Some people have prior insights obtained from friends and relatives, while others have no insights at all. The truth is, however, that every divorce is unique, and there is no foolproof method to predict how a break-up will happen. The only factor common to every divorce is the outcome: one married life becomes two separate lives.
Going through a divorce is almost always difficult. Those who successfully dissolve a marriage earn a great deal of knowledge in the process that they often wish they had before the divorce began. Many divorced individuals will then happily pass on their knowledge to others who may be facing divorce. Here are a few of the best tips from those who have already been where you may be today:
Overuse of Facebook and Other Social Media Can Lead to Divorce
Social media is ostensibly meant to bring people together, not tear them apart. However, in recent years, these sites seem to have accomplished the opposite for many couples, as there are studies which indicate that sites such as Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram may be a contributing factor to divorce rates.
Although most people begin using social media accounts with positive intentions, these apps can start consuming a high percentage of a person’s day. The average American checks their social media 17 times each day. Although this statistic is much lower than many other countries, Americans utilize the most mobile data on a consistent basis, using an average of 4.7 hours daily per person. You may also be surprised to learn that adults ages 25 to 54 are the most frequent culprits when it comes to compulsive social media checking. All of this time we spend attached to our phones can take away from valuable family time and can give too much of our attention to the lives of others. These sites are now commonly cited as a factor leading to the demise of a relationship.
Use Social Media With Caution During A Divorce Case
Social media is everywhere. Over the last decade, social media usage has skyrocketed to over 90% of the population. From opinionated tweets, to eye-catching photography on Instagram, to everyday stories on Facebook, everyone has something to say. While this is great for building businesses and maintaining relationships, sometimes not everything is meant to be shared with the world. Poorly timed posts have resulted in job loss, lawsuits, and even arrests. Likewise, anyone considering divorce should carefully think about who may be watching.
Admissibility in Court
Anything that is available for public knowledge is admissible in court. If you are going through a divorce or another family law dispute, you should strongly consider either deactivating your social media accounts or, at the very least, changing your privacy settings. Disabling the account prevents all access, including the potential sharing of your information with your spouse by mutual friends. The information would only be inadmissible if obtained by illegal or deceitful methods.
How Accurate Are Paternity Tests?
Accuracy is essential when it comes to the paternity of a child. What the future may hold for a child is often at stake, in addition to any pending marital, custody, or support issues. An accurate test enables the child to have a bond with a paternal figure, a relationship that is proven to have numerous benefits for the child even after they enter into adulthood. However, before you grab a paternity test at your local drug store, you will want to consider the accuracy rate of such testing.
How Paternity Tests Work
During the conception of a child, the first cell contains DNA which consists of a series of chromosomes, half from the mother and half from the father. This cell divides, and then those cells divide continuously to eventually form the child. In fact, those cells continue to divide to create new cells throughout the entire life of the child, which is how new skin is formed, and more.
Common Marital Issues Which Can Lead to Divorce
No one enters into a marriage expecting their relationship to end someday. When a marriage breaks down, spouses are often lost and confused as to how they got to this point, with many of them proclaiming, “Neither of us believes in divorce!” However, divorce is not an event that “just happens.” Typically, it is the result of a series of missteps which bring a partnership to a point of irreconcilable differences. Sometimes, both spouses see this coming as the inevitable next step. In other situations, the decision is seen as coming from “out of the blue,” leaving the non-initiating spouse reeling and questioning what they missed. Here are a few factors which can commonly lead to the breakdown of a marriage, and to a potential divorce:
Little or No Conflict Resolution
The Benefits of Adopting a Stepchild Who Has an Absent Parent
In the United States, a divorce is granted about once every 36 seconds, adding up to approximately 2,400 marriages ended every day. Although the divorce rate is 40% lower for families with children, nearly 50% of children born to married couples will witness the dissolution of their biological parents' marriage by the time they reach age 18. Many studies document the negative effects of divorce on children, but having two parents who stay involved with their children can minimize many of these effects. However, if one parent is willingly absent, a stepparent adoption can provide many benefits to both parents and children.
What It Means for a Stepparent to Adopt
There are more blended families in the United States today than ever before in history. The “his, hers, and ours” family is becoming commonplace, along with same-sex family adoptions. It has become well established that the term “family” does not necessarily refer to any existing biological link, but refers instead to who you choose to love and who loves you in return.
Telling Your Children About A Divorce Decision
Children naturally want their parents to remain married forever. This desire typically stems more from the child’s fear of the unknown than from any other source. When parents decide to divorce, this may not even be a surprise to children, since by the time they reach this decision, parents may have undergone a trial separation, or children may have observed a significant amount of conflict in the home. However, even in those situations, hearing the news of a pending divorce is a conversation that children will remember the rest of their lives. As parents, we can work to protect our children’s best interests by following these tips for guiding the discussion in a healthy and constructive direction:
Break the News Together
When you discuss divorce with your children, you and your spouse should do so together in a united manner. This conversation is not the time nor the place for bitterness or resentment. Even if one spouse is not on board with the decision to divorce, it is in the best interests of the children to incorporate the word “we” as much as possible and make it appear as a joint decision. Keep in mind that this is emotionally difficult for your children as well. When you present the information as a team, it shows that you both are willing and able to work together.
Things to Consider Before Getting Remarried to Your Ex-Spouse
It is not uncommon that following a divorce, newly single spouses seek companionship again. After experiencing the intimacy and partnership of marriage, individuals are equipped with a deeper understanding of themselves and their interests, morals, and overall life goals. Having experienced the benefits of a close relationship, marriage becomes an option once more for many divorcees.
It may be interesting to discover that many previously married couples find that love again with each other, even after they have gone through contentious courtroom divorce battles. However, it is best to proceed with caution when considering remarriage to a former spouse, as post-decree concerns may put a damper on a future wedding.
The Grass Was Not Greener
While there are no official statistics indicating how many divorced couples later decide to remarry each other, the topic is becoming more commonly discussed than in previous decades. Social media has made it easier for people to stay in communication with each other, even if a significant amount of time has elapsed since their divorce.
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