When parents get a divorce, it can sometimes be difficult for them to remember that their children’s best interests should be their top priority. Parents can become focused on their own desires, and they may even attempt to use their children against each other. In some cases, one parent may attempt to manipulate their children into taking their side in disputes, or even cutting off contact with the other parent. This is known as “parental alienation”, and it can have damaging psychological effects on a child. If you believe that your ex is engaging in “parental alienation”, you will want to make sure you address this issue appropriately during legal proceedings related to child custody.

Understanding “Parental Alienation”

“Parental alienation”  is defined as attempts by one parent to cause their children to feel negatively about the other parent, or other forms of interference in their parent/child relationship. This may involve a variety of different actions, including speaking negatively about the other parent in the children's presence, asking children to monitor the other parent's activities or relationships, encouraging children to take sides in disputes, claiming that the other parent does not love the children or want to spend time with them, or refusing to allow the children to see or communicate with the other parent. This kind of behavior can be very harmful, because it creates an environment where the child feels that they must choose between their parents. The result is often increased stress for all parties involved, and long-lasting emotional damage for the child.

When trying to assess whether “parental alienation” is occurring, there are a few indicators you can look out for. If there is a sudden change in your child’s attitude towards you, or if they actively avoid spending time with you even after numerous attempts at communication, then there may be cause for concern. If your child's beliefs about you seem irrational, or if they use language that seems to come from your ex, those are signs that your ex may be attempting to alienate them against you, and you will need to determine how to respond.

When a married couple gets divorced,  as well as in other types of family law cases, court orders will be put in place that will detail how certain issues will be handled going forward. While parents are expected to follow the terms of these orders, situations may arise in which one parent may believe that the other has failed to meet their obligations. These disputes may be related to child custody, child support, or other issues. Understanding the best ways to address these issues is important, and parents who approach these matters the wrong way could face a number of additional legal concerns. If you are in this situation, here are some mistakes that you should be sure to avoid:

Withholding Child Support

In some cases, a parent may violate child custody orders; for example, they may fail to pick up or drop off children when required, or they may refuse to allow the other parent to communicate with the children. These actions can cause a great deal of difficulty, especially for a "non-custodial" parent who spends less time with their children than they would prefer. The inability to spend time with children or communicate with them about what is going on in their lives can have a significant impact on parent/child relationships, and a parent who is being denied parenting time may believe that they need to take action to compel the other parent to abide by a child custody order.

In response to the denial of parenting time or other violations, a parent may believe that the best action would be to stop paying child support to the other parent. However, doing so will only complicate a case further, and it may lead to court penalties for failing to meet one's financial obligations. Child support is a benefit provided to children rather than to the other parent, and the denial of this form of support will ultimately harm the children. To avoid potential penalties, a parent will need to address the other parent's violations through the court rather than taking matters into their own hands.

Here at Law Office of Vincent C. Machroli, P.C., we work hard every day to stay on top of all the latest developments in Illinois family law, and to ensure that our clients are accurately informed about the legal issues that may affect them. We regularly publish blogs on topics related to divorce, child custody, child support, and other legal issues that affect families, providing helpful information about Illinois law and the concerns that affect people involved in family court cases. We want to highlight the blogs that were most popular with our readers in 2022:

1. Will a Marriage Counselor Ever Suggest Divorce? - This blog looks at the approach that counselors will often take with couples who are experiencing marital problems, while also discussing how mediation can be a good solution for spouses who wish to proceed with the divorce process.

2. What Happens When Child Support Becomes Past Due in Illinois? - We look at the steps a parent can take to enforce child support orders in situations where the other parent has failed to meet their obligations.

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In the years after a divorce, it may be necessary for one or both parents to move, and, in some cases, a person may plan to actually move to another state. This can bring about problems,  since a move may affect subjects such as parental responsibilities (also known as child custody) and parenting time. Oftentimes, both parents want to continue to be involved in their children's lives, but a move that puts significant distance between parents' residences may affect the parents’ ability to do so. If you are a parent considering a move out of Illinois after your divorce, or if you are concerned about how your ex-spouse's plans to relocate out-of-state will affect your relationship with your children, it is important to understand how Illinois laws will affect that subject. 

Parental Relocation in Illinois 

In the state of Illinois, a planned relocation by a parent must typically be approved by the court if it affects the custodial rights of one or both parents. In cases where a parent who plans to move has the majority of the parenting time with their children, or even when parents share equal parenting time, an out-of-state move will usually be considered a relocation. However, a parent may be able to move to a different state without seeking court approval if their new residence will be no more than 25 miles away from their current residence.

When a parent plans to relocate, legally they will first be required to notify the other parent, and they will also be encouraged to negotiate modifications to the existing parental responsibilities/child custody and/or parenting time arrangements. A written notification must be provided to the other parent at least 60 days before the expected moving date, unless plans to move are made within less than 60 days, in which case a notification should be sent as early as possible. The parents may then work together to determine how their existing parenting plan  can be modified. If they are able to reach an agreement, the relocating parent needs to file the relocation notice with the court. A judge will review the agreed changes to parental responsibilities/child custody and parenting time/visitation, and, if they determine that these changes are in the children's best interests, the relocation request will be approved, and a court order will be entered to modify the couple's existing parenting plan.

When parents get divorced, some of the most important decisions are related to the creation of an effective parenting plan that provides for the best interests of the children, while also meeting the needs of both parents, plus fulfilling all the requirements of Illinois law. During the divorce process, it is important to work with a skilled family law attorney who can ensure that all  subjects regarding parental responsibilities and parenting time will be properly addressed in a parenting plan. 

What Is a Parenting Plan?

A parenting plan is a legal agreement between divorcing parents that will be part of their final divorce decree. The plan will outline the parents' respective rights and responsibilities regarding their parenting duties, and also their relationships with their children. A parenting plan should include provisions for decision-making authority, parenting time or visitation, holidays, vacations, transportation arrangements, communication between parents and children, and other subjects related to the child's welfare. 

Illinois Requirements for Parenting Plans

In Illinois, divorcing parents are required to submit a written parenting plan proposal in order for their divorce to be finalized. If parents can work together to reach agreements on child-related issues by using their attorneys, mediation, or other methods, they can submit a single parenting plan together, and the judge in their case will typically approve this plan, as long as it is in the children's best interests. Alternatively, each parent can submit his or her own parenting plan that details their proposals for how different issues should be addressed, and the parents may then ask the judge to make the final decisions about any areas that are in dispute.