A married person may consider divorce as an option for leaving a stressful or unhappy relationship and getting a fresh start. Agreeing to dissolve a marriage can be a difficult choice, since a person may be unwilling to give up the unity and love that brought the couple together. The divorce process will require spouses to identify and resolve the legal issues that must be addressed when ending their marriage, including the allocation of parental responsibilities (formerly known as child custody), child support, and the division of marital property. However, the complexity that might be involved in resolving these matters could be a negative for some couples, and ending the marriage could also lead to unwanted attention or embarrassment for either spouse. For spouses who are considering divorce but are unsure about whether to proceed with the end of their marriage, consulting with a skilled family law attorney could identify some alternative options.      

Can Marriage Counseling Be Beneficial?

Working together with a marriage counselor is an option that a couple may be willing to try once issues arise that threaten the relationship. However, the success of these types of sessions will depend on the amount of time and effort each spouse is willing to put in. While counseling may help some couples save their marriage, research has shown that approximately 38% of married couples get divorced within four years of attending marital counseling.

While the results of marriage counseling can vary drastically depending on a couple’s situation, it is still one of the most common routes taken by couples in crisis. Factors such as abuse, financial issues, and the loss of attraction could all result in counseling not being successful in repairing a relationship. In some cases, therapy may help one or both spouses realize that the marriage is beyond repair or that divorce is the best option.

The end of a marriage can signify a new start for a former couple. However, divorce can be difficult for any children who are involved, since they then often have to split time between both parents. A new alternative to having children split time between two houses after a divorce is called “bird nesting.” This refers to an arrangement in which the divorcing parents themselves divide their time in a home, instead of the children being uprooted from the home for parenting time. The parents may each rent their own apartment or condo, or they may share a dwelling where one parent will stay even when it is not their parenting time. This type of parenting solution is not for everyone, but if parents do wish to use this option, their parenting plan document can spell out the allocation of parental responsibilities, parenting time arrangements, and more. 

Pros and Cons of “Bird Nesting”

After a divorce, if either parent has to buy a new house, that is a considerable expense. Renting a small apartment or condo that both parents can share can save a lot of money. Utilities will be less, and there are no property taxes to pay. In addition, there can be emotional benefits to the concept of “bird nesting,” since the children will not have to shuttle back and forth between two homes. Sometimes, this type of situation can even help the parents transition easier after the divorce.

However, there can also be challenges to this type of parenting arrangement. When a couple sells the marital home and go their separate ways, this can provide a clean break once property and assets are divided. On the other hand, if the parents still co-own and live in the marital home post-divorce, the lines in their relationship are often blurred. Basic issues like who pays the utility bills can turn into disputes. If a major home repair or new appliance is needed, the parents do not have a joint account anymore from which to take the money, and therefore, they will each need to contribute to funding the repairs.

Domestic violence is committed anytime an individual hits, kicks, chokes, harasses, threatens, or interferes with the personal liberty of a family member or a person in their household. Unfortunately, many people are affected by domestic abuse every day. In May 2019, the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) answered their 5 millionth call from a victim seeking help. 

Trying to get out of an abusive marriage can be difficult. You might be afraid to leave your relationship if your spouse has threatened retaliation. Ending a dangerous marriage requires preparation and special considerations, especially if a child is involved. In some cases, you may be able to obtain an order of protection to restrict contact with the abuser during and after your divorce.  

With a divorce comes many difficult emotions and questions about the future. Whether it be concern over child-related issues, where to live, or finding a job, a lot of people fear the unknown. This can be an uneasy time, and especially for a spouse who was a stay-at-home parent or who relied on his or her partner’s income. There are laws that govern the financial support an ex-spouse may be able to receive after the end of the marriage. One spouse may be entitled to receive spousal maintenance payments, but it is important to understand how eligibility for spousal support is established, how the dollar amount of the payments is calculated, and how long maintenance will last. 

How Is Spousal Support Determined in Illinois?

Under Illinois law, what used to be called alimony or spousal support is now termed spousal maintenance. This type of support can be granted to either party. Illinois courts do not consider fault in connection with the divorce or any misconduct committed by either spouse during the marriage when determining whether a spouse is eligible to receive maintenance. When deciding whether to award maintenance, the court will consider certain factors, such as:

Nowadays, it’s common for two people who are planning to marry to create and sign a prenuptial agreement. While it was once considered a document that was only necessary for the rich and famous, a prenup can actually provide benefits for couples at all income levels. This type of agreement can help a couple determine ahead of time how their marital property will be divided in the event they decide to part ways and get a divorce. It may also spell out how assets or property will be handled during the marriage, such as whose name will be on mortgages, car loans, insurance policies, retirement benefits, etc. 

When creating a prenuptial agreement, being open and honest regarding what each person brings to the marriage can lay a solid foundation of trust. With a prenup in place, a couple can make decisions that can help avoid conflict if the marriage does not work out. 

Issues to Consider In a Prenup

A prenuptial agreement is a legal contract that an engaged couple signs before getting married. The agreement becomes valid on the day the marriage takes place. Illinois prenuptial agreements can address any of the following subjects: