Will a Marriage Counselor Ever Suggest Divorce?

 Posted on June 27, 2018 in Divorce

Many couples choose to go to counseling when their marriage is in trouble. Often, counseling/therapy is a last-ditch effort to save the marriage before considering divorce. What many couples do not know is that most counselors/therapists will never persuade couples one way or another when it comes to the ultimate decision about divorce. Whether the marriage survives or not is ultimately in the hands of the couple itself. The only job of the counselor is to help both parties become more in tune with the needs of the other and build communication skills. 

What if the Couple Is Miserable?

Even if a couple is very unhappy in their marriage, a marriage therapist will typically keep their opinion about the relationship to themselves. To actually suggest divorce would raise some ethical and moral concerns, which is why most therapists try not to push the couple either way. Sometimes, one marriage counselor is not enough. The therapist might say, “I have done everything I can for you,” and the couple may then choose to see another therapist, who might be able to offer new techniques which may be key factors in turning the marriage around for the better. 

What if the Couple Asks?

Even if a couple asks a counselor if divorce is the best solution, most counselors will say that only the partners involved can make that final decision. Often, counselors will then follow up with more questions of their own to help the couple delve deeper into the situation. 

What if it Is an Abusive Relationship?

Even in an abusive relationship, a couples therapist will likely not suggest divorce. They will, however, help the victim find separation and seek help. Therapists will do everything they can to keep their clients safe. 

Does Therapy Help?

Marriages often break down due to communications problems. The job of the therapist is to help both parties communicate their needs, wants, and desires to each other. If a couple identifies the problems early enough, a resolution is possible. A counselor can help a couple learn techniques to survive the difficulties of marriage. However, couples sometimes wait too long to seek help and address their problems. Bad habits are hard to break, and the emotional hurt can become too much to heal. Ultimately, it is the decision of the couple as to whether they can overcome those lasting scars. 

Couples Therapy and Divorce Mediation

Sometimes, couples come into counseling already on the brink of a divorce, and they just need to know how to work through the steps of a divorce. While a therapist can help them address their interpersonal issues during the divorce process, a divorce mediator can assist in addressing the legal issues that must be resolved during a divorce, and also can help couples reach a mutually agreeable resolution. 

When a couple chooses to go through divorce mediation, the divorce process may possibly be shortened, less expensive, and leave less emotional scars. At the Law Office of Vincent C. Machroli, P.C. we will work to understand your specific situation, and will help you find the best divorce solution for you. Contact an Oak Park divorce attorney today at 708-449-7400 to explore your options in a free initial consultation. 

Sources:

http://work.chron.com/marriage-counselor-do-12240.html

https://www.gottman.com/blog/timing-is-everything-when-it-comes-to-marriage-counseling/