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Oak Park divorce lawyer post-decree mattersGoing into a new year, many people often try to set goals in order to improve their everyday lives. These resolutions may range from promises to eat healthier to working towards a better career, and there are limitless possibilities for self-improvement. If you are trying to move past a divorce, there are several goals that you can put into place to help make this task easier to achieve. While beginning a new year alone can be difficult, there are a number of positive steps you can take that can help you build a successful life after your marriage has ended.

Act Appropriately Towards Your Ex

Following your divorce, you and your ex-spouse may still have to communicate with each other on a regular basis. Whether it is due to child custody, child support, or different post-decree matters, a variety of situations may arise that will require the two of you to cross paths and interact. By treating your ex with respect and kindness when possible, you can avoid a toxic relationship and reduce stress in your life.

If, however, your ex chooses to act in a way that increases conflict, it is highly recommended to remove yourself from the situation and seek help. Utilizing a support system that includes friends, family members, and a therapist or other trained professionals can provide you with a safe space where you can express your thoughts and feelings. You may also need to seek out legal help if you need to obtain a restraining order to protect your safety, or to possibly modify or enforce the terms of your divorce decree.

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Posted on in Divorce

Oak Park divorce attorneyEven marriages that do not end in divorce have their share of struggles. Couples who stay together for years or decades sometimes look back and identify the good times and the bad times. When a couple is experiencing relationship difficulties, they may consider what steps can be taken to save their marriage.

As men have increasingly rejected the emotionally closed-off approach that was common in past generations, marriage counseling has become an effective way to save a relationship. It can also provide a thorough diagnosis of whether a marriage is salvageable at all, or whether divorce is the best choice for a family. 

How Effective Is Marriage Counseling? 

With more than a quarter-century of research into the topic, the American Psychological Association says that modern couples counseling with the emotionally-focused therapy (EFT) model is now around 75% effective. EFT seeks to change the interaction patterns between disaffected spouses, which can alter emotional responses and strengthen the bond between them. 

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Posted on in Divorce

Oak Park IL divorce lawyer parent childrenNo one gets married thinking they will get divorced someday. But when a divorce occurs, former spouses may feel like they are lost in a new, unfamiliar world, and may allow the stress of a divorce to impact how they treat their children, or they may feel that they are involved in a competition for a child’s love now that they do not see them all the time. Sometimes, adults alter their parenting in ways that do not help their children or themselves. 

Here are four ways to approach parenting which will protect important parent-child relationships and allow your family to heal from the difficulties of divorce:

1. Do Not Try to Buy Affection

When splitting custody for the first time, it is understandable for parents to want their children to enjoy their time with them to the fullest. Unfortunately, this can turn into a spending war to see who can give the most gifts or plan the most expensive activities. If your ex takes your children to an expensive amusement park or buys them a new gaming system, do not feel like you have to top that the next week. The best thing you can do is provide the stability and support they need and appreciate.

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Oak Park divorce lawyer parents childrenThe end of a marriage is frequently painful for everyone involved, including parents and children. Parents may not always understand the effects that divorce can have on their children. Kids rarely fully grasp the reason for the split, but they may find themselves acting as the middlemen between feuding parents. By the end of the divorce process, many children experience stress and anxiety, and the emotional scars can follow them well into adulthood, and into their future relationships. 

If you are planning to get divorced, you can help your child cope with the decision by avoiding these common parenting mistakes:

Do Not Make Your Child The Go-Between

Although you may not want to speak to your spouse, you are the adult in the situation. Do not give your children messages to be passed back and forth with your spouse. Being the messenger puts unnecessary emotional stress on children, and it can negatively impact their relationship with both parents. If you do not want to have a phone conversation with your ex, consider texting or emailing them - find another solution for communication that does not involve putting your children in the middle of a possible dispute.

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Oak Park parental responsibility attorneyFor divorced parents, sharing parental responsibilities during the summer months is often tricky, despite the relaxed, school-free schedule. Summer is a prime time for vacations, transitions, and being with family. However, the short time period for summer vacation often makes it harder for parents and children to get into a regular routine. Just as soon as you seem to get a good rhythm going, school is back in session, and a new routine must begin. Although they are necessary, changes in routine can often be difficult for kids and parents alike. These tips can help you lessen the anxiety for yourself and your children during the summer:

Avoid Doing Too Much

Although kids seem to have a never-ending supply of energy, they do look forward to the relaxed days of summer. Many parents seek to keep the kids entertained with camps, trips, and other exciting activities. What children do not often tell you is that they are just as happy sitting on the sofa with the family. Enjoy the slow moments while you have them; school will be back in session before you know it.

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