If you are going through a divorce, you will need to make a variety of difficult decisions involving the separation of your life, your finances, and your property from your spouse. While this can be a lot to deal with, the situation can become even more complicated if you and your spouse have children, because both of you will need to address the allocation of parental responsibilities (formerly known as child custody in Illinois), as well as parenting time (formerly known as visitation), and the decisions about these issues will be written down in an agreement known as a parenting plan, which will be part of your divorce decree. When creating a parenting plan, it is important to work with an experienced family law attorney to ensure that your parental rights and your child’s best interests are protected.

If you are a newly-single parent adapting to life after divorce, moving on may be difficult, and you may be dealing with negative feelings toward your ex-spouse. Although it can be difficult to put those feelings aside, fostering the growth and development of your child should continue to be your primary goal. One dreaded scenario that may arise is meeting your ex’s new partner. This can be a challenging and stressful situation, but you will likely want to make an effort to get to know that person, as they will be a significant party in your child’s life. The following three tips can help the three of you work together as co-parents toward a happy and healthy upbringing for your child:

Feelings of anxiety and stress are common for any couple which is moving forward with the dissolution of their marriage. A divorce can be a complex matter which can have a lasting effect on everyone involved. Going into a divorce, most people are unfamiliar with the steps involved, the legal requirements that must be met, and the length of time needed. Dissolving a marriage is never fun, and you may want to get your divorce over with as quickly as possible. However, there are certain factors that can cause the divorce process to go on longer, and so working with a knowledgeable divorce attorney is essential to ensure the process can conclude in a timely matter.

The end of a marriage can signify a new start for a former couple. However, divorce can be difficult for any children who are involved, since they then often have to split time between both parents. A new alternative to having children split time between two houses after a divorce is called “bird nesting.” This refers to an arrangement in which the divorcing parents themselves divide their time in a home, instead of the children being uprooted from the home for parenting time. The parents may each rent their own apartment or condo, or they may share a dwelling where one parent will stay even when it is not their parenting time. This type of parenting solution is not for everyone, but if parents do wish to use this option, their parenting plan document can spell out the allocation of parental responsibilities, parenting time arrangements, and more. 

Pros and Cons of “Bird Nesting”

After a divorce, if either parent has to buy a new house, that is a considerable expense. Renting a small apartment or condo that both parents can share can save a lot of money. Utilities will be less, and there are no property taxes to pay. In addition, there can be emotional benefits to the concept of “bird nesting,” since the children will not have to shuttle back and forth between two homes. Sometimes, this type of situation can even help the parents transition easier after the divorce.