2019 will bring a significant change to post-divorce life for many Americans, due to the 2017 federal tax reform legislation that will reverse a provision that dates back seven decades. For divorces which are completed on January 1, 2019 and afterwards, individuals who pay spousal maintenance (alimony) to a former spouse will no longer be able to deduct that amount from their taxes, a deduction which has been allowed since the 1940s. Also, individuals who receive spousal maintenance will no longer be required to declare those payments as taxable income.

This modification is expected to add a substantial amount to the U.S. Treasury’s bottom line each year. In 2010, approximately 600,000 Americans claimed the alimony tax deduction, which added up to more than $10 billion.

When an unmarried couple has a child but later splits up, or when a married couple gets a divorce, or when a couple was not in a relationship to begin with, it is typically necessary to set up child support in which one parent makes a recurring payment to the other parent for the benefit of the child. While this is often achieved without difficulty, that is not always the case.

Child Support for Divorced Parents 

During the divorce process, child support is one of the most important child-related issues to resolve, along with the allocation of parental responsibilities (formerly referred to as custody) and parenting time (previously called visitation). In 2017, Illinois adopted what is known as an “income-sharing model” for calculating child support, in an attempt to allow children to maintain the same standard of living as they would have if their parents were married.

Even marriages that do not end in divorce have their share of struggles. Couples who stay together for years or decades sometimes look back and identify the good times and the bad times. When a couple is experiencing relationship difficulties, they may consider what steps can be taken to save their marriage.

As men have increasingly rejected the emotionally closed-off approach that was common in past generations, marriage counseling has become an effective way to save a relationship. It can also provide a thorough diagnosis of whether a marriage is salvageable at all, or whether divorce is the best choice for a family. 

No one gets married thinking they will get divorced someday. But when a divorce occurs, former spouses may feel like they are lost in a new, unfamiliar world, and may allow the stress of a divorce to impact how they treat their children, or they may feel that they are involved in a competition for a child’s love now that they do not see them all the time. Sometimes, adults alter their parenting in ways that do not help their children or themselves. 

Here are four ways to approach parenting which will protect important parent-child relationships and allow your family to heal from the difficulties of divorce:

Halloween is not a major holiday, so it is a day that often is not listed in parenting agreements, but it can be one of the biggest days of the year for young children. Divorced or separated parents should respect what should be a great time for their kids. Here are some ways parents can work together on Halloween, even though they are no longer together:

1. Remember Who Halloween Is For

Halloween is about the kids, not about you. If you are early in the divorce process, and emotions are still raw, you may prefer to step away for the day if you think you cannot handle the situation properly. As with the other holidays, it may be best to divide Halloween between parents on alternating years. If you can participate in Halloween activities together with your children, that is great. If not, do not force it and ruin what should be a good time.