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Hillside family law attorney for legal separationA married person may consider divorce as an option for leaving a stressful or unhappy relationship and getting a fresh start. Agreeing to dissolve a marriage can be a difficult choice, since a person may be unwilling to give up the unity and love that brought the couple together. The divorce process will require spouses to identify and resolve the legal issues that must be addressed when ending their marriage, including the allocation of parental responsibilities (formerly known as child custody), child support, and the division of marital property. However, the complexity that might be involved in resolving these matters could be a negative for some couples, and ending the marriage could also lead to unwanted attention or embarrassment for either spouse. For spouses who are considering divorce but are unsure about whether to proceed with the end of their marriage, consulting with a skilled family law attorney could identify some alternative options.      

Can Marriage Counseling Be Beneficial?

Working together with a marriage counselor is an option that a couple may be willing to try once issues arise that threaten the relationship. However, the success of these types of sessions will depend on the amount of time and effort each spouse is willing to put in. While counseling may help some couples save their marriage, research has shown that approximately 38% of married couples get divorced within four years of attending marital counseling.

While the results of marriage counseling can vary drastically depending on a couple’s situation, it is still one of the most common routes taken by couples in crisis. Factors such as abuse, financial issues, and the loss of attraction could all result in counseling not being successful in repairing a relationship. In some cases, therapy may help one or both spouses realize that the marriage is beyond repair or that divorce is the best option.

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Posted on in Divorce

Oak Park divorce attorneyEven marriages that do not end in divorce have their share of struggles. Couples who stay together for years or decades sometimes look back and identify the good times and the bad times. When a couple is experiencing relationship difficulties, they may consider what steps can be taken to save their marriage.

As men have increasingly rejected the emotionally closed-off approach that was common in past generations, marriage counseling has become an effective way to save a relationship. It can also provide a thorough diagnosis of whether a marriage is salvageable at all, or whether divorce is the best choice for a family. 

How Effective Is Marriage Counseling? 

With more than a quarter-century of research into the topic, the American Psychological Association says that modern couples counseling with the emotionally-focused therapy (EFT) model is now around 75% effective. EFT seeks to change the interaction patterns between disaffected spouses, which can alter emotional responses and strengthen the bond between them. 

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Posted on in Divorce

Hillside family law attorneyEven the healthiest and most stable marriages have times of doubt. Feelings of stress and uncertainty arising out of an argument, for example, can lead to one party or both parties questioning if the marriage is one that will last. However, no couple agrees on every minute detail of everything, undoubtedly each of you will go to bed angry at least once, and you will not always do everything together. In many cases, those “tried-and-true” adages your friends and family tell you on your wedding day are unrealistic and can leave you questioning the success of your marriage after any unresolved argument. However, before you consider divorce, review these proven signs of a successful and thriving marriage:

You Have Fun Together

Not every marriage will be the ideal, picture perfect, Hollywood-ready love story one of you or both of you might have expected when you walked down the aisle. The romance and glamor which may have been associated with the dating, engagement, and honeymoon phases of your relationship will eventually fade. However, the relationships of couples who make it a point to spend time together and who enjoy each other’s company frequently last longer than many other relationships.

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Oak Park divorce mediation attorneyMany couples choose to go to counseling when their marriage is in trouble. Often, counseling/therapy is a last-ditch effort to save the marriage before considering divorce. What many couples do not know is that most counselors/therapists will never persuade couples one way or another when it comes to the ultimate decision about divorce. Whether the marriage survives or not is ultimately in the hands of the couple itself. The only job of the counselor is to help both parties become more in tune with the needs of the other and build communication skills. 

What if the Couple Is Miserable?

Even if a couple is very unhappy in their marriage, a marriage therapist will typically keep their opinion about the relationship to themselves. To actually suggest divorce would raise some ethical and moral concerns, which is why most therapists try not to push the couple either way. Sometimes, one marriage counselor is not enough. The therapist might say, “I have done everything I can for you,” and the couple may then choose to see another therapist, who might be able to offer new techniques which may be key factors in turning the marriage around for the better. 

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